3 libras

Since completing school, I'm finding it harder and harder to stay in Utah. Not that I'm having a bad time and not that I hate the people I'm around, but I'm starting to get restless, like the time has simply come. I feel like my wheels are spinning, something I've alluded to before, but this feels different. It's like my wheels are spinning, catching on less than before, but they're spinning deeper in the mud. Or maybe they're riding higher on the mud. Regardless, there's a weight off my chest that is real and tangible and I'm glad to have it gone, but what now? I was talking to someone tonight and I realized that, when people ask me what I did today, my only answer is "work". That's not bad, but it's a strange step to take. Perhaps if my work was personally satisfying, it would be different. As it stands though, despite my absolute love for my employer (not even exaggerating, I really love the company I work for), there is a certain element of personal joy that is missing from my job.

I'm going to New York to visit in about 2 weeks. Half of me almost expects to feel a strong desire to stay there instead. We'll see how this whole thing plays out. Regardless, it's good to be done with school. Now I need to focus myself on something worthwhile.