Where dreams and reality meet

Good heavens, what a month since I last wrote, and GOOD HEAVENS what a 2.5 months since I left Utah. I think about everything in my life that has happened since I left and I'm honestly kind of blown away. It feels like a completely different life, but one that I cherish completely.

Since the end of April, I have: played a farewell show, finished an album, lived in 3 cities (Provo, Everson, Seattle), moved everything I own twice, said goodbye to some of my absolute best friends, been duped into an Amway meeting, gone completely broke, gotten my first credit card, felt soul crushing loneliness, pure bliss, and everything in between, flown (and landed in the dark for the first time) a plane (twice), been depressed out of my mind, been so happy I could hardly speak, been paralyzed by fear, overcome said paralyzing fear, worked for a day for Environment Washington (an environmental group who lied to me and still not paid me for the day I worked for them), got a job at Seattle Children's Hospital and met a few people. And all of this without starting my grad program. I still have over 2 months until school starts for me! What on earth am I doing here?!

I'll tell you what I'm doing here. I'm learning more about life and myself than I thought possible to get in a measly two and a half months. I'm still fairly uncertain about what the future holds. To be honest, I'm a little terrified of being here because grad programs are a big deal. I barely graduated high school! I am afraid of the weather (these clouds are made of the crushed souls of orphan children) and I openly admit that I miss the sun. Surprisingly, I openly admit that I have found myself missing Utah on several occasions. I really miss the terrain. I am a child of the desert, it seems. I miss the super hot summer, too. Today it hit 83 degrees and I was in heaven.

I'm not sure what the point of all of this is. I suppose I just needed a chance to vomit my brain out onto the interwebs. And let all 3 of you who read this know how much I really miss you. Not just because we had a good time a few years ago, but because I miss having good times with you now. Not because we were in a band together, but because that band was my excuse to be in the same place as you. Not because we were in the same ward, but because we did some wicked awesome stuff while we were in that ward together. I don't miss familiarity nearly half as much as I miss the familiar faces that I love so dearly. I find myself jealous of the people who get to be around you, my friends. I wonder if they realize how wonderful you are and how lucky they are. I'm already planning my vacation back before school starts.


Look, over there! A distraction!! *runs away*