Thursday, October 23, 2014

Some time in the last little bit, I've become afraid of talking about what I feel. I'm afraid of saying what I think or feel and having other people get hurt. It's impacted a lot of my life, and I don't like it.

I just need to say that the situation at work right now is destroying me. Like, I don't know if my chest can get any tighter. I'm losing sleep, I have heartburn for the first time in my life, and I feel completely helpless while I watch my boss destroy my clients and everything that we've worked on, and I don't even know why. It's like I'm stuck in some crazy nightmare where I keep trying to run but my legs don't work. I'm choking here.

I guess I lost my ability to talk about stuff because I don't believe it will change anything anymore.

1 comment:

Rachael said...

I'm not sure I can relate on the same level (you're doing, like, adulty things and I'm like heyy still undergrad), but I understand about not being able to articulate what I'm feeling. even to myself. it's a weird place to be in.

I hope, with whatever's going on, you can still find a way to release it before you asplode. which would be generally unhelpful cos you're a wonderful human being and lots of us like you.

hope things look up, soon.